An Open Letter to the Weak

Hello Sweethearts, I want to ask you some questions.

What makes someone strong? What do you think strength is? The answer is not “never being hurt”, although I used to think so as well. How beautiful and naive a thought that is, oh if only it were true. Watch any fight and reality will quickly become apparent to you. The truth is undeniable: winners bleed too. In fact, the best warriors have a scar for every story. So then, what is strength if not the ability to avoid pain? What separates the “weak” from the “strong” is the ability to get through pain.

It is only what we do after we have been struck or wounded that determines our title. You can only lose by refusing to get back up. People think that being strong is innate and easy, that you either “have it or you don’t” but neither of those things are true. It is impossible to properly illustrate in words what it takes to gain and maintain that title. Strength is learnable though it cannot be taught, it is found only through first-hand experience.

Weakness is not a bad thing per se, but the effects of it seem to be on a spectrum ranging from “annoying” to “horrific” and it is always the strong who bear the brunt of that. When the weak cannot go on, they don’t simply stop—they demand to be carried. It somehow becomes the duty of the strong to protect them and fix their weakness (or at least soothe the pain). It creates a cycle that is endless, as people get comfortable in the arms of others and never want to let go. Even if they have healed and can walk just fine, they will choose to lean too hard on others or worse: play up their weakness for sympathy. We have all met a child who threw a tantrum every time they were set down to walk for themselves because the person carrying them just couldn’t do it anymore.

Here is an observation I have made: most people are only weak because they do not believe they deserve to survive. So many people have shown me by their actions and how they talk about themselves that they have no love for themselves and therefore no will to live. You cannot be strong if you do not want to survive and you cannot survive if you do not want to recover. Weakness is letting a paper cut become septic because you don’t care about yourself enough to get a band-aid. So I will ask again. What makes someone strong? The answer is desire. It varies from person to person, of course, but there is no one regarded as “strong” that does not have some sort of longing in them for what I call an “intangible want.”

For me, it is the want to be whole in myself what lights my fire. It is only through this desire that I am able to find strength. That is what allows me to protect myself so fiercely, overcome obstacles, respect my intuition, and pull myself off the floor still ready to fight. It is because I believe that there is a place for me in this world where I do not have to suffer that makes it impossible to stop me and it is because I know that there is only one person who can take me there that makes it impossible to beat me. A fiery yearning for something that only you can give to or take away from yourself will keep you alive. The day I lose will be the day that I die.

I have tasted peace so briefly but found it unforgettable. I will do anything for it, including stomaching the bitterness of violence and the lingering acrid aftertaste of any agony. Survive now, laugh later. No matter what, I will live to tell the story, the glory in the scars is all mine. Weakness and strength are just a matter of choice. Get up or stay down, it really is that simple.

You can be weak. You can run from the pangs. It is free to be so fooled by fear that you don’t realize that what you’re seeing is just the other side of everything pleasing. It costs nothing to want nothing for yourself better than being torn apart by the whims of the world. You risk nothing and so you gain nothing. In fact, you probably spend most of your time trying not to lose while also refusing to fight which inevitably results in loss and stagnation. You are so used to this that it feels like there is nothing you can do. You are so used to this that it feels like there is nothing else you deserve. You live in the past and cut off all your future self’s chances at a different reality by repeating your old behavior because you are afraid to feel new pain. How’s that working out for you?

I don’t want to come off like an aspiring inspirational speaker, but you deserve better. You deserve to live in the present. You deserve to know what life is like without burden. You are worthy of the energy it takes to change a life. You are worth the fight.